


Wait, why are we dancing?

by j_obsessed



Category: Cricket RPF
Genre: Dancing, Eoin and Ben can't keep their hands to themselves, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Joe is thirsty, Jos is hot, M/M, Making Out, Meddling, So many ships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:54:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24573379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_obsessed/pseuds/j_obsessed
Summary: Team bonding? Plus all my favourite ships? Uhm, yes please.For my dears @Cricket_crazy28 and @Rosetylars who wanted some Cooky/JimmyI hope this satisfies your cravings for the moment <3Uni is killing me, so I wrote 7000 words of tension and Jos being hot. No regrets. <3
Relationships: Ben Stokes/Eoin Morgan, Hints of Eoin/Ben/Mark, Jimmy Anderson/Alastair Cook, Jonny Bairstow/Chris Woakes, Jos Buttler/Joe Root, Stuart Broad/Steven Finn
Comments: 26
Kudos: 12





	Wait, why are we dancing?

“Babe?”

No response. Even though his love is sitting right next to him, and definitely awake- Jimmy can feel the other man’s fingers running over the taut muscles of his bare chest- there’s no response.

“Ali? Love?”

He hears a ‘hmpf’, and there’s a teeny pout that flashes over the captain’s lips.

“ _Fine_. Dear fiancé of mine, who will apparently not accept any other pet name?”

A soft, but satisfied chuckle fills the air around them, and Jimmy gives himself permission to grin.

“Yes, oh dear fiancé of mine who finally got the hint? What is it that you need?”

Jimmy rolls his eyes. “I am the one who proposed you know.”

“Yes, dear, about five years later than you should have.”

“But you’ve loved me since way before that-”

The batsman jabs at his chest rather pointedly. “This is _so_ not the time for you to be cocky, James Anderson.”

“Yes, I know that, Alastair Anderson.” He retorts, rather cheekily.

There’s no response, yet again.

But this time, it’s not because Jimmy is using an incorrect nickname. This time, it’s because Alastair literally _can’t speak_ \- his mouth is otherwise… occupied. (By Jimmy’s tongue, to be totally specific.)

He’s leaned up, bracing a hand on Jimmy’s abdomen, to kiss him fervently, all lip and tongue, no trace of a bite to be found. (If you’re excluding the fifty dozen marks on both of their shoulders… thighs, hips, collarbones, chest. Yeah. There are traces of bites _all over those._ )

After Alastair has finished with kissing his fiancé, (it takes a bit longer than you’d think, Jimmy’s mouth is unbelievably distracting), he seems to remember that James was in the middle of saying something.

“Sorry. What was it you were saying?” His voice is breathless, just from kissing James. Just from _kissing_ the other man _._ Bloody hell.

“It’s about time we got the other Yorkie and Lank together, don’t you think?”

“You finally believe me. I almost thought I was going to die before you admitted it.”

“Spend one- I swear just _one_ \- night in a room with Joseph fucking Root. And it’s bound to become the most obvious thing in the universe.”

“Ah. The last night of our SA tour was it?” Alastair’s grinning smugly, but he can’t help it. He’s known about the mutual attraction between the two for _ages._

“Never make me stay with anybody that isn’t you again. I didn’t believe you originally, because Joe is actually a puppy, and he loves everyone all the same, but fucking hell he would not shut up about him. Ugh, the things I had to hear. Ali my mind is scarred forever.” He burrows his head against the other man’s shoulder.

“Did he start talking about Jos’ thighs?”

“GOD THAT WAS JUST THE START!”

Alastair can barely control his laughter. He’s been on the receiving end of Joe’s endless speeches about Jos, more times than he’s scored half-centuries in _all_ forms of cricket. That’s a high count, right there. There’s a pained groan from Jimmy before he continues.

“He literally- I am not even joking, I timed it- he did not go more than two minutes without mentioning his name. Jos this, Jos that, Jos would love this, Jos would hate that, this is Jos’ favourite movie, this is the song Jos and I heard in the car, oh and this one is on our shared Spotify playlist now, and every time it plays I think of him-”

“Oh my god they’ve got it so bad, does Joe even realise he says half this shit.” Ali’s expression is a mix between crying in frustration and laughing in helplessness.

“I hate that damn song. It’s absolutely disgustingly cheesy, god I’m getting toothache just thinking about it, it sounds like something they’d dance to at their wedding. The one he played before that monstrosity, was much much better.”

“WAIT. What was the song?!” Ali exclaims as if he’s suddenly seen some opportunity amongst Jimmy’s grief.

“Alastair I am _complaining_ here, you’re supposed to be _consoling me dammnit.”_

“Aww, you poor, poor baby- but seriously, what was the name of the song!?”

“S&M, Rihanna. Definitely a good song. Also- definitely something we should’ve played last night,” he grins, leaning over to flick his tongue over one of the bruises on the batsman’s collarbone.

The other man sighs exasperatedly. “Not _that one_ , the other one, the _wedding_ one.”

“Uh, something by James Arthur I think, I don’t know, I actually had to leave the room when Joe played it for the sixth time on repeat. All I know is that it sounded absolutely sickening.”

“More disgusting than I Just Called to Say I Love You?”

Jimmy groans again and covers his face with his hand. The other man’s fingers come to remove the obstruction- _“stop that, you’re covering the most gorgeous thing in the room,”_ and god, when did they become like _this_.

“Somehow, yes, more disgusting than that.” Jimmy presses a kiss to their intertwined fingers. (He’s a fucking hypocrite. Don’t tell Joseph… Which one, you may ask. The answer is yes.)

Alastair reaches over for his phone, and quickly types in the songwriter’s name, shuffling through a few of the listings that come up on Spotify.

_I remember years ago, some told me I should take-_

“Hmm, no it’s not this one.”

_You know I want you, it’s not a secret I try to hide-_

“Nope, not this one either.”

_I met you in the dark, you lit me up, you made me feel as though-_

“TURN IT OFF. OFF. THAT’S THE ONE. OFF. STOP IT. NOW. Get Rihanna back!”

Alastair almost dies laughing for the second time in about fifteen minutes.

“OFF! TURN IT OFF. STOP LAUGHING ALASTAIR DAMMNIT-”

“Okay, okay!” He has to bat Jimmy’s hands away, as they try (and fail) to tug the phone from his grip. Alastair can be incredibly strong when he wants to be.

“He had it on repeat for literally _hours._ I am sick of that song, and if I ever have to hear it again, I’ll need to start recycling again.”

Alastair is still laughing, and Jimmy is at a loss- _because his fiancé looks so so gorgeous when he laughs_.

“You’re going to need to hear it a few more times.”

The petulant whine that escapes England’s most feared bowler of all time would surprise almost _everyone_. “Why. Why would I ever need to subject myself to that again? What are you planning…?”

“How do you feel about getting the lads involved in a dance class or two?”

“We don’t need classes, my dear fiancé; we tango just fine.”

Alastair rolls his eyes and blinks exasperatedly.

Jimmy seems to catch up. “OH. _Oh._ You know what. That actually could work. Joe isn’t exactly the type to share… And Jos… well,” Jimmy smirks. Jos has divulged to him, and him alone, that he was a bit of a dancer back before cricket took over his life.

And Jimmy has seen him dance once or twice before. He’s _good._

And this.

This is going to be _really good._

“Let’s do it.”

Alastair looks mildly confused. “Did _James Anderson_ , just agree to _dance lessons?”_

“Don’t make me regret this. I’m only doing this so that they can finally start talking to each other about their undeniable love for each other- rather than me. My poor ears can’t take it any more.”

“ _Sure sure._ We both know it’s _really_ because you love them.”

“Why can you not let me have my reputation as a mean, grumpy, terrifying man?”

The laugh he gets in response makes it all worth it. Even if he needs to hear that wretched song again. (It’s not that bad of a song, but he needs to maintain some sort of dignity doesn’t he?) Jimmy takes the phone from Ali’s hand.

“Do you think it’ll work?” Ali seems to need some sort of reassurance.

The smirk on Jimmy’s face is back in full force, as he lets Jos’ supposed _‘secret’_ slip. Alastair, to his credit, does not look surprised, but still seems unconvinced. “Jos. A dancer. You’re pulling my leg.”

Jimmy grins as he starts typing into the phone.

“Only text Broady and Finny. We don’t need any more than that.” Is the warning he gets.

He scoffs. He has to. Because really. Just, _really._ “Ali. They’ve had eyes only for each other since two thousand and fucking fourteen- and they STILL haven’t gotten their shit together. What makes you think that simply _four_ of us can handle this? I’d call in the Royal Air Force, Navy, Army and Marines if I could.”

The usually very patient captain sighs defeatedly. “God they’re even worse than you-”

“ _HEY_. Mean.”

“You’re not going to text them _all_ , are you?”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

“James I hardly think that rooming with Joe _once_ is a desperate time, that calls for a desperate measure- at least, not as desperate as messaging all the poor lads at midnight.”

A soft, almost, _fond_ smile, plays over the bowler’s face. “They’d be good together, Ali. They love- sorry, _like_ , each other more than they realise.”

The batsman rolls his eyes again, but this time, with a profound sort of _warmth._ “Told you, you love them.”

Jimmy ignores the comment, not without a smile, and starts typing into Ali’s phone.

**Create group: James Anderson, Eoin Morgan, Ben Stokes, Stuart Broad, Steven Finn, Chris Woakes, Jonny Bairstow, Mark Wood**

**23:45 A. Cook to _project josephs_**

_Evening lads_

It hasn’t even been three seconds since he sent that text. Seriously. Not even three goddamn seconds. But apparently, James and Alastair are not the only ones who seem to think that this whole situation needs to be solved, and _fast_. Ali stares at the phone, utterly shocked at the mindblowing _speed_ of the boys’ responses. Jimmy shakes his head and sighs. Meddling teammates will never ever change their ways. He grins fondly and reminds himself to text Swanny once this particular mission is over.

**23:45 E. Morgan _to project josephs_**

_Oh my god, it’s happening._

_EVERYBODY STAY CALM._

**23:45 B. Stokes to _project josephs_**

_Why is Eoin screaming?_

_OH OHNNINWVONFOIEWOSJNOINF._

_YES. LET’S DO THIS._

_What d’you need skip?_

_We have a perfectly useful storage cupboard that locks from the outside…_

**23:45 M. Wood to _project josephs_**

_YES YES YES YES I’M HERE LET’S DO IT_

_BOUT FUCKIN TIME_

_LET’S LOCK ROOTY AND JOS IN A CUPBOARD_

**23:45 A. Cook to _project josephs_**

_NO ONE IS LOCKING ANYONE ANYWHERE_

_But loving the enthusiasm lads_

**23:45 S. Broad to _project josephs_**

_Oh._

_My._

_God._

_WAIT I’M WAKING FINNY UP_

_WAIT DON’T DO ANYTHING YET_

_WAIT_

**23:45 C. Woakes to _project josephs_**

_Finally._

_How can we help skip?_

_Shit_

_I******_

**23:45 E. Morgan to _project josephs_**

_Oh._

_Who’s ‘we’ Chris…?_

Back in Chris’ apartment, two men currently bracketed together on the couch, share a slightly guilty exchange, before one decides to finally break the silence.

**23:45 J. Bairstow to _project josephs_**

_Ah, that would be Chris and, uh_

_Me…_

_That alright?_

**23:45 E. Morgan to _project josephs_**

_Absolutely more than alright._

_Glad to hear it mate <3_

_Also, babe, you owe me ten :*_

_Told u so_

**23:45 B. Stokes to _project josephs_**

_Dammnit._

_Still, congrats you two._

_But seriously_

_Couldn’t you have waited another week?_

**23:45 C. Woakes to _project josephs_**

_Sorry benny <3 _

**23:45 S. Finn to _project josephs_**

_OH YES._

_Sorry for being grumpy Stu <3 _

_Oh and congrats Woaksey, Jonny_

_Bout damn time <3 _

**23:45 A. Cook to _project josephs_**

_Okay lads, here’s the plan_

\--

Joe and Ali meet at the younger’s apartment.

“Cooky I can’t believe you convinced Jimmy to do _DANCE LESSONS!_ You must be magical, how did you do it, tell me your secrets!” Joe is currently hanging off the captain’s arm, utterly giddy with excitement.

“I pride myself on a few things, and this is definitely one of them.” Alastair grins, tightly squeezing the younger boy, before they get into his car, and drive down to the studio he’s booked for the night.

As they exit the vehicle, something on Ali’s left hand catches the light and Joe’s eye. 

“OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD COOKY IS THAT A RING?! HOW DID I NOT SEE IT EARLIER!? DID HE FINALLY DO IT?! OH MY GOD!” Joe is visibly vibrating with excitement, and Alastair rolls his eyes fondly. Joe really is a puppy. 

“Shhhhhhh keep your voice down… Yes, it’s a ring.” He winks at the younger and lifts up his left hand. Joe, maybe for the tenth time since they caught up, squeals in happiness.

“SQUUEEEEEEE! Oh my god, Ali, I’m so happy for you, it’s so beautiful oh my god WAIT HAS JIMMY TOLD JOS YET OH MY GOD, JOS WOULD LOVE THE RING ITS TOTALLY HIS TYPE AND STYLE!”

Alastair’s eyebrow raises, and a tell-tale expression flies over his face. Joe is too enamoured with the platinum band on Ali’s finger to notice.

“I’m so excited, is this- oh my god- is this like, for your wedding? OH MY GOD IS THAT WHY WE ARE LEARNING TO DANCE? EEEEEEEEEEEEP THAT’S SO ROMANTIC! IS THAT WHY ALL THE BOYS ARE COMING TOO?!?!” Alastair can’t help but chuckle softly at the younger batsman’s sheer excitement. He can practically hear multiple exclamation marks floating through the air after Joe’s enthusiastic yelling.

The younger boy doesn’t even suspect that Ali’s played him. Not that he could, he has no clue of what’s actually happening.

\--

Somewhere nearby, Jos and Jimmy are walking to the studio Ali told them to meet everyone at. “So what you’re telling me, is that our captain, wants us to learn dancing, like, professionally, in a class, as a _team-building_ exercise.” Jos is blinking at him, completely unconvinced.

“Yep.” Jimmy doesn’t even bat an eyelash.

“Wow.”

“And maybe because I proposed last night and he wants to make sure the guys don’t make asses of themselves in front of everyone.”

Jos’ jaw drops open, and he stops walking, he very nearly almost trips over the pavement, but the wicketkeeper is a little too graceful for that. The look on his face though, is absolutely _priceless_ , and Jimmy wishes he had recorded it. Jos is rarely fazed by anything. This is a moment for the books.

The keeper gets over his initial shock and punches him in the bicep. “You finally did it, oh my god.” The young blonde has such an awed, proud, fond and _longing_ look on his face, James has to hug him. It’s one-armed, and more of a bro-embrace than anything, but Jos appreciates more than he’ll ever know. “I’m so so happy for you- oh my god, wait, have you told Joey?! He’s going to be so excited-”

James grins, but before he can say anything, right on cue, there’s a distinct Yorkie boy’s voice ringing through the air; _“EEEEEEEEEEP!”_

Jos bursts into laughter as Jimmy covers his ears while grumbling.

“I take it, that he’s just been notified.”

Jos runs up to Ali and engulfs him in a hug. “Congratulations! I thought I’d end up with grandkids before he finally asked you.”

“HEY! Why is everyone ganging up on me!”

Joe laughs, and Jos’ focus shifts immediately. He glances at the young batsman with such an overwhelmingly affectionate smile, Jimmy and Ali almost have to look away. “Hi Joey, it’s so good to see you. I missed you so much.”

The young batsman grins and reaches up to tug the keeper into his arms. They don’t let go for a while. Ali and Jimmy watch exasperatedly.

Soon enough, the rest of the lot show up, and once everyone’s brought up to speed on the relationship statuses;

James and Ali – _Engaged_ (Everyone freaks out a little)

Chris and Jonny – Newly dating (Jos high fives Bairstow. The blonde may or may not have had something to do with the newest couple… Wicketkeeper’s union and that…)

Eoin and Ben – Dating (That’s not new. Neither is the fact that they’re making out against the brick wall of the building.)

Stuart and Steve – Dating (Not new, and thankfully, they’re a little more reserved.)

Joe – Still single (Everyone stares at Jos)

Jos – Still single (Everyone stares at Joe)

Mark – It’s complicated… (The gingers smile at the pacer warmly, and Mark ducks his head shyly… hmm… would you look at that…)

They head inside and meet their instructor for the night. She’s a friend of Ali’s; not too tall, maybe 5’7”, a blonde, blue-eyed woman, dressed in form fit leggings and a tank.

“Hi, Alice. Hope you know you’ve got your work cut out for you today.”

She chuckles and waves hello to them all. “We’ll be going through two dances today, one that’s a bit, traditionally appropriate-” She winks at Jimmy and Ali, as the rest of the boys applaud. “And one a little more hmmm shall we say, r-rated, and you can decide which you want to learn before we finish up the night.” Everyone nods in agreement, and it seems excitement??

_Hmmm, why ever would that be? They must, really just be looking forward to the dancing…_

“My partner, who usually demos with me, has had to dash home, something about an oven and his kids- I didn’t ask, just shoved him out the door the moment I heard the word ‘burning’, so uh, is there anyone who’d be willing to help me out a bit?”

All the boys share knowing grins. ‘Phase one is a go,’ Mark stage-whispers into his wrist, and Eoin very nearly bursts into laughter. Ben quickly tugs the shorter ginger into a kiss- a fairly heated one, and Alastair has never, _ever_ been more thankful for their incessant PDA. Jimmy, as planned, shoves Jos’ shoulder, pushing him forward. “Jos is the only one of us with some expertise in the field Alice, he’s your pick.”

Jos flushes red, whips his head around to glare at Jimmy- who was supposed to be keeping that a secret- as the rest of the boys add on their hollering of ‘yeah Jos show us how it’s done’, ‘expertise eh, alright Jos let’s see it then’ and ‘come on Jos you’ve gotta dance with the pretty woman’, all incredibly aware of the shock, and slowly appearing _jealousy_ on Joe’s face.

The keeper hesitantly heads up to the front of the studio and smiles charmingly at the instructor. “Hi, uh, I’m Jos- uh, I don’t know if I’m as good as they have made me out to be, but I do have a bit of experience in both fields so-”

“Not a worry Jos, I’m sure you’ll do just fine,” she looks him up and down, “you’ve definitely got the body for it,” she adds with a teasing grin.

Jos laughs, a little more at ease- as once again, the other boys start whooping, _Eoin especially loudly_. All the other boys, except _two_. One; Ali, who’s trying to gauge the level of anger evident in the expression on Joe’s face, worried that the younger is going to pop a blood vessel. And two; Joe, of course, who as aforementioned is busy trying not to explode from anger, jealousy and disgruntlement. Not that Jos notices, he’s too busy glaring at Jimmy for putting him in this position. Jimmy, who has the smuggest expression possible plastered over his perfect fucking face.

Alice turns on some music, and lets everyone muck around for a bit, encourages them to warm up as a team- since they’re here for ‘team-building and morale’. While most of them are doing that, she drags, a more-willing-than-before Jos to a nearby studio to run through the routines quickly.

Joe glares at the young woman’s hand, as he watches it make contact with Jos’ wrist, and then pulls him away to another room. He throws murderous glances toward the door every so often, as he’s holding positions mid-stretch or alternating sides. When they have been gone for almost, _almost_ two minutes, Joe snaps. “What could they possibly be doing that is taking so long, I should go check in on them-”

Stu raises his eyebrows and tilts his head to look at the younger bemusedly. “Rooty, they’ve been gone for about two minutes, you do realise she’s putting the moves on Jos, right?”

Joe’s jaw drops open, and he bursts off the ground, shooting toward the door, before he catches himself, and forces himself to drop into another calf stretch.

Chris bursts out laughing before Jonny covers the Brummie’s mouth with his hand and slaps his shoulder lightly. Chris pokes his boyfriend’s cheek as they let go of each other. Joe smiles despite himself, he knows Jos helped Bairstow out with that one, and from the looks of it, he’s done an excellent job.

Jimmy tucks his face into Alastair’s shoulder, fighting his instinct to pull out his phone and record the current exchange- purely for his own enjoyment.

Mark and Ben almost choke on their own breath, “He means- oh my god- what he means, is that she’s teaching Jos the routines-” the taller ginger manages to gasp out, as Eoin makes himself comfortable lying across their laps after coming out of a hamstring stretch.

“That is exactly what I said Benny,” Stu grins, as he takes Finny’s outreached hand, and pulls himself up off the floor.

“Don’t worry Joe, it’s probably just that there’s something she can’t do herself, that she needs Jos _really bad_ for.” Is what Mark says, definitely not helping in the slightest.

Jonny almost spits out his water. Chris hides his face behind the back of his hand and ducks behind his wicketkeeper.

Joe isn’t exactly sure whether he’s just hearing this, or _actually hearing this._ Is his brain tricking him into hearing this shit? What? What else could be meant by ‘she needs Jos _really bad’?_ Other than-

_Joseph root, you stop right there. Jos is an adult, he can do whatever he wants with whoever he wants. So what if they’re fuc-_

He’s roped into a game of indoor tag, (he is the one who willingly initiates the game, _actually)_ before he has the chance to give that thought any particular attention.

When they do eventually return, it’s been about fifteen minutes, and both of them look flushed. Joe can’t tear his eyes off Jos’ build. Which, is currently uncovered and entirely on show in the black muscle tank he’d been wearing under the jumper he’d covered up with this whole time.

“Damn, Alice worked you hard, did she Jos?” Jos bursts into laughter as Alice winks at Stu- who obviously made that comment.

Joe is about to combust. He _cannot,_ just be hearing these things the wrong way. _They definitely look like they…_

_Joe. No. we talked about this._

It does not help in the slightest that both of them, look absolutely _worn out_ and that both of them are covered, _covered,_ in a sheen of damp sweat. Joe’s skin is crawling, he can feel each of his muscles scream in agony, he can feel every cell in his body _lurch, convulse,_ in sheer jealousy. He hates feeling like this, but the evidence is written all over them. He has no right, Jos isn’t his, but that thought just makes the stinging feeling worse. He takes a deep breath, as he feels Mark’s hand rest on his shoulder.

“Joey, are you okay?” Mark genuinely does look concerned, and he’s not that good of an actor, so Joe knows that he’s been very obvious about his displeasure. He shoves the situation to the back of his mind venomously, and nods, giving the bowler a somewhat convincing smile.

Mark smiles back, and pulls him to the dancefloor, as Alice starts up the music.

The moment the song rings through space, Joe’s eyes widen and fall upon Jos, who has wrapped one arm around the instructor’s waist and has one intertwined with hers, assuming a typical ballroom pose.

_I met you in the dark, you lit me up._

They start moving across the floor, and Joe feels himself look away from the couple currently gliding across the floor.

_You made me feel as though, I was enough._

God. This _hurts._ This is supposed to be their song. They heard it together _first._ Jimmy’s hand comes to rest on his shoulder, but Joe just gives him a convincing smile and forces himself to watch the routine.

But Jos is currently holding someone else, and Joe’s brain is being awful. It’s conjuring up images of Jos in a black tux, and this instructor in a white dress, and he can feel his soul shrivel up and die on the spot.

A few things stand out. The fact that the two look as though they’ve been dancing together _forever._ And the synchronised way the two move around each other, even when they’re not touching. And the way Jos’ arms flex to support the woman’s weight as she throws herself into his arms, completely trusting him to hold her and lift her up.

He spaces out completely, trying his best to ignore the occasional whoops and applause from the boys around him. The music hasn’t stopped, but the pair have stopped dancing- Joe assumes they were never going to do a whole routine anyway because that would be too much to learn in one night.

Thank fucking god that’s over. However, when he looks at Jos, Alice is still in his arms, and they’re still holding the end pose.

Where they’re standing face to face.

And his hand is resting on the side of her neck.

And her one hand is fisted in his shirt.

Joe wishes, wishes and wishes that he didn’t have to see that.

Everybody applauds as the two hold hands and bow. Well. Everybody except Joe. Whose eyebrow is currently twitching and whose knuckles are turning white, nails probably digging into the skin of his own palms. Because, as everyone already knows, from Joe’s consistent blabbering, this is supposed to be _their song._

He’s made it through the routine, thank heaven. He takes a deep breath in and unclenches his fist.

Unbeknownst to Joe, Jimmy side-eyes Ali. Plan one failed, commence plan two.

The rest of the boys look around in confusion. How did that not do it? Why hasn’t Joe jumped into Jos’ arms yet????

He does look like he’s about to burst at the seams, but, the fact that he hasn’t done anything yet is not exactly a good sign…

Ali feels some pity for the batsman. Some. Sort of. Although, what he’s about to do, is not going to reflect that.

It’s almost… well actually, it _is_ the exact opposite of what someone feeling pity would do.

But it’s for a good reason!

Because, the fact that Joe hasn’t torn Alice off Jos’ body yet, unquestionably means they need to try something a little crueller.

This will definitely satisfy that criterion.

“That was pretty mild, we could definitely learn that one!” Ben says, taking Eoin’s hand and pulling him to the starting position, dipping him as the shorter bursts into giggles.

“Yeah, I could’ve learnt that one, not sure why _Jos_ was the pick. Can’t we have something a little different?” Joe pouts, not wanting to see Jos and Alice slow dance with their hands all over each other again.

“How about we see the other routine? And then we can choose?” Jimmy says, chancing a look at Ali, who nods encouragingly. 

After seeing the exchange, the boys back up Jimmy’s proposition with fervour. Joe, who was against this first routine from the moment the song began playing, is also very happy to see the other routine. He also looks less like he is going to murder everyone in the room.

For the moment.

That’s going to change.

Another song rings out through the air on autoplay, and Joe guesses it must be for the second routine, because it’s loud, upbeat, and once the lyrics start- it’s obvious that it’s not a… ‘traditionally appropriate’ song.

By fucking god, it’s Rihanna, and Joe swears, he swears that the universe has it out for him. It’s not just any Rihanna song, no, it’s _S &M_. The one Rihanna song, which, by Joe’s standards, is decidedly _dirty,_ and if only to prove that exact point, has Eoin and Ben in the centre of the floor, plastered against each other immediately.

The rest of the boys, also happen to know the song, and you’d think they were teenagers at a frat party, the way they scrambled to get their hands on a partner. Never let it be said that the English cricket team, doesn’t know how to get down. And never _ever_ , let it be said that Eoin and Ben, know how to dirty dance. Because they do. And they’re _good._

Alice and Jos stand at the front applauding the two that are currently centre-stage. Eoin has pushed his back flush against Ben’s chest, and the taller ginger has run his hands down the shorter boy’s sides to grip at his waist, as they show off a perfectly synchronised body roll.

They seem to realise (quicker than usual, kudos to them) that they’re not alone, because Eoin quickly scrambles to push Ben back slightly, and shoots a sheepish look at Alice. “Sorry… We’re a bit, uh-”

“Enthusiastic.” Ben finishes, with a wink as he sticks his tongue out at the shorter ginger.

“Might’ve given you the wrong partner Alice,” Jimmy chuckles- FULLY AND COMPLETELY AWARE, that he most definitely did not.

Because. Well.

When it comes to this particular… shall we say, _skill set_ , anything that anyone in this room can do, Jos can do better.

Better by a mile.

Better by an entire astronomical unit.

Alice seems to be very aware of this fact, because she chuckles at the two gingers, smirks at Jimmy, and retorts “Believe me, you gave me the right one. Above average in all that he does. Above average, _everywhere.”_ The boys start ooooh-ing, and it only gets worse as she winks at the blonde wicketkeeper. Joe _glares._ Jimmy is barely holding himself together.

“Ready for a demo Jos?”

“Ready to make Jimmy eat his words, that’s for sure.”

The boys share confused glances- but after looking at Jimmy and Ali (who initiated this back-up plan) all seem to be happy to watch this play out.

 _Jimmy,_ actually, seems to be the most invested.

The man in question smirks, and Ali applauds him (in his head), because, wow, _Jos took the damn bait._ Ali feels as though he should probably be stage whispering into his wrist this time, that phase two, is officially a go.

Alice rewinds the song to the beginning, and runs back to her spot. Jos stands behind her, assuming his _position._

Joe assumes his glaring. Not that it ever really stopped but, shush.

“Nice position you’ve got there Jos!”

_Fuck you, Chris. I did not need that particular thought voiced out thank you very much._

“His posture is pretty good isn’t it?” Jonny adds with a grin, watching Joe through the corner of his eye.

_Wait what? Maybe I am hearing things. Fuck’s sake._

“Position’s not bad either, good for a _lot_ of things,” Eoin yells out, earning a grin and a wink from Alice, and a shake of the head from Jos, before the keeper steels himself to perform, or, in this instance, _demonstrate._

Although. It’s really more of a _performance_ , isn’t it? This song, this partner, the expectation from the audience. It’s a performance no doubt. Jos briefly wonders how he finds himself in these circumstances.

But, as he told himself earlier, time to leave everyone completely fucking _shocked._

_Na na na come on._

Alice tips her head back and lets it rolls sensually onto Jos’ shoulder.

_Na na na come on._

She crosses her hands, over her waist, and then drags them up her sides, before wrapping them around Jos’ neck.

_Na na na na na come on._

She brings her hands back down, and slowly turns her head so that her face is pressed completely into the crook of Jos’ neck, as he exposes the flesh with a smirk, as he places his hands just toward the inner of her hipbones.

_Na na na na na come on._

She rolls her body fluidly against Jos, once.

_Come on_

Twice.

_Come on_

Thrice.

 _Then, the beat drops_.

And Jos’ body moves with hers, perfectly in time, and Joe’s mouth goes dry. Because what the fuck _that’s illegal._ He doesn’t have any time to acknowledge what he’s seeing, because Jos’ hands start moving, and he’s captivated.

Jos is the picture of absolute _power._ It’s pouring off him, exuding off his body, suffocating the entire room.

He rolls his body off her and to the side, before pressing up beside her, as she drags his shirt up to expose his abs.

She rolls her body to stand in front of him, before she drops into a deep squat, and they move oppositely, from side to side,

_Feels so good being bad,_

Jos’ right hand flits over her, from her left collarbone to her right.

_uh-oh-uh-oh-oh_

And in some sort of manoeuvre, he pushes his left hand between her shoulderblades directly on the last beat of _oh_ , so that she’s bent forward, completely in half, hands wrapped around her own ankle.

_There’s no way I’m turning back_

He folds his body over hers, and drags his fingers across her obliques-

_Uh-oh-uh-oh-oh_

Before he pulls them back on the final beat, arching his back and draping her across his chest.

_Now the pain is my pleasure, cause’ nothing could measure, no, no-oh-oh-oh-oh_

They grind twice, before he walks his hands up her torso, til the last beat, where his hand wraps loosely around her neck.

_Love is great love is fine,_

He turns her head sensually,

_Uh-oh-uh-oh-oh_

He noses at her neck, almost touching

_Out the box, outta line,_

This time, Jos rolls his hips forward into her, _twice_

_uh-oh-uh-oh-oh_

Before both of his hands reach for the front of her shirt, as he motions to _tear through it_

_The affliction of the feeling leaves me wanting more, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh_

She grips at his hands and pushes them back down her body, _Jos continues until he’s on his fucking knees behind her_ and Joe wants to look away so badly but he _can’t._

_Cause I may be bad but, I’m perfectly good at it_

She turns around, and right as the words ‘I’m perfectly good at it’, she hooks her thigh over his shoulder, like she’s… like she’s going to _ride his fucking face_. And, _and_ _oh my fucking god._

_Sex in the air, I don’t care I love the smell of it,_

Jos tilts his head back to look up at her, and pushes her leg over his head and off his other shoulder, as she places a hand on his shoulder to push him to the floor, in a position that makes it looks like she’s going to straddle him-

_Sticks and stones may break my bones, but,_

And she does- she steps over Jos’ torso, drops into another squat, effectively straddling him, only, not completely touching-

_Chains and whips excite me,_

Before she dips her hand down, runs it over his chest, and then _she’s gripping his shirt and dropping into a split, and rolling off his body._

The music keeps playing as Alice helps Jos up, and they bow, to absolutely no applause.

Complete silence.

Literally, you’d be able to hear an atom split apart.

Because everyone is utterly shellshocked.

Fucking flabbergasted.

After a few moments, there’s an outrageous uproar.

“How?” Ben is staring open-mouthed, absolutely and completely impressed.

“What?” Eoin is blinking, looking between Jos and Alice as if he was following a tennis ball amidst an intense rally.

“Who?” Mark looks like he’s seen a ghost. Or eight. Wearing Bellydancing gear. 

“Knew you had it in you, you _kinky bitch_ -” Is what Finny adds.

“There is no fucking _way_ that was you-” Is Jonny’s input.

“Goddamn Jos. You ever wanna share that with the rest of us?” Stu says, before he receives a glare from Joe that has him shutting up, and _fast._

Jimmy grins at Ali, who blinks, absolutely speechless. “I did say, he had some expertise in the area.”

“Some?!?!?!?! Some expertise???!?!!?!? Jos??!?!!?!??” Alastair’s expression is absolutely priceless. He can feel the multiple question and exclamation marks layering his own damn words.

Joe can’t even _breathe,_ let alone speak, let alone make some kind of snarky or even intelligent comment.

“Not to panic anyone or anything, but uh, how are we supposed to learn that?”

_Yes, yes thank you, Ali, we can work with this. What we do, is make everyone think we are scared about learning this routine, not that we are completely and undeniably horny for Jos._

“That’s just it, you don’t.” Jos says. Everyone looks at him suspiciously, and he grins smugly. “That, was just to shut everyone up. Unless, of course, you do want to learn it? In which case, let’s run it again Alice.”

“Job well fucking done. And that will not be necessary. Can we move on please?” Joe says, rather aggressively.

Mark grins. Jonny hides his face. _Almost there._

“Move on? No way, I rather liked that routine actually, anyway we could do that one? I liked the bit where you straddled him, like this, and then the split drop, that was fucking hot too,” Eoin says, pushing Ben onto the floor and mimicking the move, with a cheeky grin.

“Oh- oh _yes,_ I’d be more than happy to do this-” he runs a hand over Eoin’s calf, “Jos and Alice, could you give us another run please?” Ben flutters his eyelashes, receiving an uncontrolled chorus of cackles from everyone.

“Of course. I’ll run that routine with Jos whenever he asks,” she smirks at her partner, who grins proudly.

“Bet she’d do a _lot_ for him, if he asked,” Stu whispers to Joe. And that is about the moment where the young blonde _snaps_. It’s been building, ever since Jos was pushed up to her, by Jimmy, at the beginning of the night. But the idea of Jos, sprawled out in _bed,_ with anyone that isn’t him, is about as much as Joe can handle.

“No.” It’s more of a growl than anything else. He’s almost impressed at the tone of his voice.

Alice stays smirking at Joe, as Jos turns to him in surprise. The rest of the boys turn their faces, Mark even going so far as to whistle innocently.

“What do you mean Joe? Would you prefer the other routine?” She raises her hands as if to place them around Jos’ neck, but Joe has had just about enough of that.

“Don’t touch him.” Alice doesn’t even look the slightest bit scared. She makes as though she is going to remove her hands, but instead, places them on the wicketkeeper’s chest.

Alastair gasps, as some of the boy’s jaws drop open. Because oh. Oh my god.

Joe narrows his eyes at the woman. _Mine._

Without thinking, he pushes himself between them, grabs a fistful of Jos’ muscle tank, and tugs him into a messy kiss. He pushes a hand into the keeper’s thick blonde-brown hair, as Jos groans into his mouth. He lets his other hand fall from Jos’ shirt and dig into the side of his neck, as he tilts his head, and pushes his tongue into the other boy’s mouth. Jos’ hands grip tightly at his waist, and Joe relaxes slightly, pressing up further into the taller boy.

Around them, Alice and Jimmy are hi-fiving, Alastair is sighing in relief, Mark, Eoin and Ben are whooping loudly, Chris and Jonny are smirking, and Stu and Finny are whistling.

Jos pulls away, and Joe can feel his chest heaving, in relief, in respite, and in _arousal._

“Mine,” he says defiantly, hand clenched in Jos’ shirt once again.

Jos holds his chin in place, and kisses him once again.

Miraculously, all of a sudden, someone else walks in. “So, it’s 7:30, are we good to go Alice?”

The two briefly register, that this, is probably Alice’s partner.

And that they’ve been set up.

Joe doesn’t care. Not in the slightest. He digs his fingernails into Jos’ back, and relishes in the sound it elicits.

“Yeah, we’re good to go,” Jos says, not taking his eyes off the boy currently plastered up against him.

Alice grins at them. “Sorry about that Joe, but I promise, you don’t have anything to worry about.” She flashes her left hand, and there’s a rainbow flag tatted on her wrist, as well as a ring around her fourth finger.

Joe flushes. “Oh. Right. Well. Congratulations. Sorry about the- er- yeah.”

She laughs happily, shaking her head. “You, did exactly what you were supposed to do. Keep your boyfriend close, he’s a good one. And thank your friends.” She winks at the two blondes. 

Joe’s grip on Jos’ deltoids tightens. “Believe me, I will.” He tugs them both back toward the rest of the group. “I can’t believe you all. I almost died from that. I am so mad at all of you.”

“Awwwwww Joeyyyyyy,” Mark coos, as he envelops the two in a hug.

“So glad to know that you are so appreciative of us.” Eoin grins.

“You’re all terrible. Whose idea was it? As vice-captain, I’m benching you from the next test.”

“You can’t bench him babe, he’s the best bowler in all of England.” Jos pitches in, before shoving his face into Joe’s neck.

“HE’S WHAT?! YOU MEAN THIS WAS DONE BY _JIMMY?!”_

The accused only grins and ruffles Joe’s hair.

“He’s the only one who knew about- well-” Jos doesn’t even get to the end of his sentence before Mark interrupts him.

“Yeah about that, Jos- _what the fuck?!”_

“How, how could you never tell us that you can dance like a fucking stripper?!” Ben looks utterly impressed. 

“This is information you should be sharing with your best friends, honestly, _the audacity-”_ Eoin seems rather unhappy at the non-disclosure of this information. 

It’s Jos’ turn to be smug. And Joe’s. Because _he_ gets to have _that._ Oh, fuck _yes. "You never asked?"_ Everyone rolls their eyes or shoves Jos' shoulder, or throws empty water bottles at his head (that's Mark) because, really, that should be on his damn resume, front and centre; 'Can dance like a stripper and is definitely more than qualified to entertain crowds.'

“So, uh, can we have that routine please?” He pipes up with a smile, which Alice returns. _He kind of likes her. They’d be good friends._

“Of course- Jos would you be so kind as to-” Mark starts with a smirk, only to be cut off.

“Nuh-uh. Hands away. Mine.” Joe glares.

Jos wraps his arms around Joe’s neck as he stands behind him. “Sorry Mark-y, but I’ve been spoken for.”

“Damn right you have.” He mouths a ‘thank you’ at the engaged couple. He owes them one.

As the song starts up, and Jos _‘puts the moves on him’,_ he decides, that he probably owes them a lot more than one.

_A fucking whole lot more._


End file.
